{"id":1145,"date":"2014-05-28T00:05:19","date_gmt":"2014-05-27T18:35:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/saravanan.org\/?p=1145"},"modified":"2018-07-29T14:56:54","modified_gmt":"2018-07-29T09:26:54","slug":"sam-harris-on-lying","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/saravanan.org\/sam-harris-on-lying\/","title":{"rendered":"Sam Harris on Lying"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-1146\" src=\"https:\/\/saravanan.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Sam-Harris.jpg\" alt=\"Sam-Harris\" width=\"600\" height=\"240\" srcset=\"https:\/\/saravanan.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Sam-Harris.jpg 600w, https:\/\/saravanan.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Sam-Harris-300x120.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Sam Harris is one of the sharpest thinkers\u00a0I had\u00a0come across. Here are some excerpts from one of his thinnest books, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Lying-Sam-Harris-ebook\/dp\/B00G1SRB6Q\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Lying<\/a>. Though the book is not as well thought out as some of his other works, I\u00a0culled out these\u00a0gems from the book. I put a <img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-1154\" src=\"https:\/\/saravanan.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Heart.png\" alt=\"Heart\" width=\"14\" height=\"14\" \/>\u00a0next to the ones that hit a chord in me somewhere:<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>We often behave in ways that are guaranteed to make us unhappy. Many of us spend our lives marching with open eyes toward remorse, regret , guilt, and disappointment. And nowhere do our injuries seem more casually self-inflicted, or the suffering we create more disproportionate to the needs of the moment, than in the lies we tell to other human beings. Lying is the royal road to chaos.\u00a0<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-1154\" src=\"https:\/\/saravanan.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Heart.png\" alt=\"Heart\" width=\"14\" height=\"14\" \/><\/li>\n<li>Endless forms of suffering and embarrassment could be easily avoided by simply telling the truth.<\/li>\n<li>The boundary between lying and deception is often vague. It is even possible to deceive with the truth.<\/li>\n<li>People lie so that others will form beliefs that are not true. The more consequential the beliefs\u2014 that is, the more a person\u2019s well-being demands a correct understanding of the world or of other people\u2019s opinions\u2014 the more consequential the lie.<\/li>\n<li>To lie is to intentionally mislead others when they expect honest communication.\u00a0<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-1154\" src=\"https:\/\/saravanan.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Heart.png\" alt=\"Heart\" width=\"14\" height=\"14\" \/><\/li>\n<li>To speak truthfully is to accurately represent one\u2019s beliefs.<\/li>\n<li>If one is not sure whether or not something is true, representing one\u2019s degree of uncertainty is a form of honesty.<\/li>\n<li>The intent to communicate honestly is the measure of truthfulness.\u00a0<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-1154\" src=\"https:\/\/saravanan.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Heart.png\" alt=\"Heart\" width=\"14\" height=\"14\" \/><\/li>\n<li>Even liars rate their deceptive interactions as less pleasant than truthful ones.<\/li>\n<li>Deception and suspicion are two sides of the same coin. Research suggests that all forms of lying\u2014 including white lies meant to spare the feelings of others\u2014 are associated with less satisfying relationships.<\/li>\n<li>Honest people are a refuge.\u00a0<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-1154\" src=\"https:\/\/saravanan.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Heart.png\" alt=\"Heart\" width=\"14\" height=\"14\" \/><\/li>\n<li>You know [the\u00a0honest people]\u00a0will tell you when they think you have failed\u2014 and for this reason their praise cannot be mistaken for mere flattery.<\/li>\n<li>Honesty is a gift we can give to others.\u00a0<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-1154\" src=\"https:\/\/saravanan.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Heart.png\" alt=\"Heart\" width=\"14\" height=\"14\" \/><\/li>\n<li>[If we are honest,] we can simply be ourselves in every moment.<\/li>\n<li>In committing to being honest with everyone, we commit to avoiding a wide range of long-term problems, but at the cost of occasional short-term discomfort.<\/li>\n<li>To [be honest] is also to hold a mirror up to one\u2019s life\u2014because a commitment to telling the truth requires that one pay attention to what the truth is in every moment.\u00a0<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-1154\" src=\"https:\/\/saravanan.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Heart.png\" alt=\"Heart\" width=\"14\" height=\"14\" \/><\/li>\n<li>Honesty can force any dysfunction in your life to the surface.<\/li>\n<li>Lying is the lifeblood of addiction.<\/li>\n<li>Ethical transgressions are generally\u00a0divided into two categories: the bad things we do (acts of commission) and the good things we fail to do (acts of omission).<\/li>\n<li>Sincerity, authenticity, integrity, mutual understanding\u2014 these and other sources of moral wealth are destroyed the moment we deliberately misrepresent our beliefs, whether or not our lies are ever discovered.<\/li>\n<li>Responding honestly to the subtext would not be lying.<\/li>\n<li>Unless one commits to telling the truth in situations like this , however, one finds that the edges creep inward, and exceptions to the principle of honesty begin to multiply.<\/li>\n<li>False encouragement is a kind of theft: It steals time, energy, and motivation that a person could put toward some other purpose.<\/li>\n<li>[Lucy]\u00a0lied so effortlessly and persuasively that Jessica was left wondering if she had ever been deceived by Lucy in the past.<\/li>\n<li>Failures of personal integrity, once revealed, are rarely forgotten.<\/li>\n<li>A commitment to honesty does not necessarily require that we disclose facts about ourselves that we would prefer to keep private .<\/li>\n<li>Psychopaths can assume the burden of mental accounting [of lying] without any obvious distress.<\/li>\n<li>Lies beget other lies.<\/li>\n<li>When you tell the truth, you have nothing to keep track of.<\/li>\n<li>Tell enough lies, and the effort needed to keep your audience in the dark eventually becomes unsustainable. While\u00a0you might be spared a direct accusation of dishonesty, many people will conclude, for reasons they might be unable to pinpoint, that they cannot trust you. You will begin to seem like someone who is always dancing around the facts.<\/li>\n<li>No one ever quite confronts [the liars], but everyone begins to treat them like creatures of fiction. Such people are often quietly shunned, for reasons they probably never understand.<\/li>\n<li>Liars trust those they deceive less than they otherwise might\u2014 and the more damaging their lies, the less they trust, or even like, their victims.<\/li>\n<li>To lie is to recoil from relationship.\u00a0<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-1154\" src=\"https:\/\/saravanan.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Heart.png\" alt=\"Heart\" width=\"14\" height=\"14\" \/><\/li>\n<li>Lies are the social equivalent of toxic waste<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Sam Harris makes me realize that my biggest personal achievement is that I have trained myself to lie very little, if at all.<\/p>\n<p>I &#8216;think&#8217; that I never lie on things that are consequential (though I do succumb to the temptations of occasional white lies). I make it a point to indicate the probability of my uncertainty\u00a0when it matters. I never pretend that an intentional act of omission with the intent to deceive doesn&#8217;t amount to lying.\u00a0Neither do I intentionally mislead someone when a truthful communication is warranted!<\/p>\n<pre>Note: Of course, I don't confuse protecting my privacy with lying.<\/pre>\n<p>Stopping the habit of lying some twenty years ago was a great\u00a0character builder. Being married to someone whose take on\u00a0honesty is very similar to my own has been the single biggest blessing in my relationship.\u00a0If there is one trait that I would love for my son to pick up\u00a0from me, it would be my soft corner for honesty. 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Which one of this would you love to rub on whose face? ;-)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[98],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/saravanan.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1145"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/saravanan.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/saravanan.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/saravanan.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/saravanan.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1145"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/saravanan.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1145\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/saravanan.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1145"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/saravanan.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1145"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/saravanan.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1145"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}